Author: Peggy Orenstein
Format: ARC
Published: Harper; Jan. 2011
Pages: 256
Genre: Non-fiction; Gender Studies; Women's Issues
Rating: B
Source: Publisher
Synopsis: Pink and pretty or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as a source—the source—of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages.
But, realistically, how many times can you say no when your daughter begs for a pint-size wedding gown or the latest Hannah Montana CD? And how dangerous is pink and pretty anyway—especially given girls' successes in the classroom and on the playing field? Being a princess is just make-believe, after all; eventually they grow out of it. Or do they? Does playing Cinderella shield girls from early sexualization—or prime them for it? Could today's little princess become tomorrow's sexting teen? And what if she does? Would that make her in charge of her sexuality—or an unwitting captive to it?
Those questions hit home with Peggy Orenstein, so she went sleuthing. She visited Disneyland and the international toy fair, trolled American Girl Place and Pottery Barn Kids, and met beauty pageant parents with preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. She dissected the science, created an online avatar, and parsed the original fairy tales. The stakes turn out to be higher than she—or we—ever imagined: nothing less than the health, development, and futures of our girls. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.
My Take: No I don't have a daughter (and no mom, I'm not pregnant with one either). Regardless, this book immediately piqued my interest because a. I was once a little girl myself and b. I hope to someday have a daughter (however long that someday might be). I also always dreamed that when I do have a daughter I will dress her up in frilly little outfits and we will play dolls and Barbies and tra la la and life will be simple. Until they become a teenager of course. I know all hell breaks loose when sweet little girls become teenagers. I was one of those after all too. So, yes, this book intrigued me, because what's so bad about girlie girl culture? Isn't it just empowering women to be as feminine as possible? Showing them that everything about being a girl and female is wonderful?
Heck, was I wrong! I was a girlie girl. Or at least as much as you could be in the 1980s. I played with Barbies and My Little Pony and Rainbow Brite. I also had Shera and Jem. Apparently times have changed. Things are more sexual and the options are different. In fact, this is something I have noticed and been appalled at long before reading this book. I have young female cousins who I like to go shopping with. When we go shopping for clothes and they are 12 years old and the only tops we can find for them have triangles for their boobs but these 12 year olds of course don't have boobs I get confused because its accentuating something a little girl doesn't need to have yet. I get mad. When we look for toys and I find Bratz and they are all dolled up with their tiny skirts and their big lips and eyes, I get mad because what they heck is that? And please, for the love of Jesus, while I used to watch Full House (and yes I know Stephanie Tanner grew up to have a Meth addiction but that was after she left the show and everyone had forgotten about her, not during!) and Saved By the Bell these poor young ladies are stuck watching Hannah Montana who is in the magazines I am reading flashing her panties at me. Seriously?
So yes, when Orenstein started to lay it all out for me I did see where she was coming from. Girlie girl culture is not as sweet and innocent as initially believed. In fact there is something even darker out there. Wait for it ... it's called Disney Princesses. In fact, it's all of the princess stuff that's everywhere. They didn't have this when I was little. It exploded on the scene in 2000 but Disney Princess and the whole princess culture and making girls believe that princess is something to aspire to is insidious in itself. Don't get me wrong I loved Disney's Cinderella as a child. It was one of my favorite Disney movies, but it was equal to The AristoCats and Lady and the Tramp so maybe that's the issue. These women who get 'saved' by men.
Of course, as with most societal crazes/trends, whatever you want to call them, I do think there is a natural pendulum. We had a shift from burn your bras in the 70s to embracing it in 1980s to Girl Power in the 1990s back to we want to be saved and are princesses now so, yes I do think we will adjust again but if you are a mom it is definitely something to be aware of. And now, if I do have a girl, I am even more freaked out about all the stuff she will be exposed to ... great! Seriously though, well worth your time as this is a fascinating and thoughtful read. Also, I have to throw it in that Orenstein is a local Bay Area author. Go Bay Area!
Cover Lust: I really love the little girl in her princess outfit and how Orenstein is talking about girl's having a princess complex - I think it's perfect!
I have to say I'm really glad my daughter is turning 20 on Thursday. She really missed this new girl "role model". She had Clarissa Explains it All and Lizzie McGuire as the girls she watched and they were cute and clever and didn't wear clothes that make me blush and they didn't dance with stripper poles. We played Barbies and dressed up but she didn't think Princess was a job title, thank goodness. I don't envy parents of little girls today.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to give this book a read, it sounds fascinating. Oh, and previously mentioned daughter is planning (fingers crossed) to transfer to Berkeley so Woo Hoo, Bay Area.
So, I have a daughter (she's 23.) She is the one who told me about this book. She was a "Disney Princess Nut" and now she's in grad school to be a social worker so she's all about this book. We have it on our TBR! Thanks for this excellent review.
ReplyDeleteI heard an interview with the author and it was fascinating so I'm looking forward to reading this book. I don't have a daughter but have been acquainted with some "princesses" in my day.
ReplyDeleteThat was such a good review and so interesting. Makes me wonder what it is like for young boys growing up?
ReplyDeleteSounds like a really interesting book. I hate the Bratz dolls and won't let my daughter have them. I'm glad she's into the historical American Girl dolls...at least they are clothed! I don't remember her being into the princess thing. She was all about dinosaurs and scary stuff!
ReplyDeleteI'm really interested in this book - I was never a girlie girl, but I had a soft spot for Disney princesses. It bugs me now that I loved Ariel so much when the movie is so painful to watch as an adult - but at least I later turned to Belle, who does manage to read and scold her chosen significant other every so often. :) I can't say I ever wanted to be a princess myself, but I would have been the perfect target audience for all of these damaging marketing campaigns.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like this is a must read!
I was a never a girly girl myself, but I loved this book. I'm all for the ultra-feminine, but when it's ubiquitous and the only option, it concerns me. If and when I do have kids, I'll be curious to see how my experience differs from Orenstein's.
ReplyDeleteNot as cute as it looked :(
ReplyDeleteBut still sounds like one good and interesting book. And so true. I remember the controversial here when HM or something sold bras for 7 year olds
After reading your review I am definitely going to email the publisher and ask them to let me review this book! I was always a tomboy. I played with Playmobile cowboys and skiers and absolutely hated dolls (or so I'm told). I don't think I even saw Cinderella until I was at least 10.
ReplyDeleteIt is both astonishing and disgusting how sexualized girls as young as 7 are. I have to believe that media has a lot to do with this early over-sexualization and that even girls who aren't exposed to a lot of that kind of media are secondarily influenced by it through their peers who are exposed to it. I'm not a parent, but I want to be educated on this so I can be prepared in the future if I am.
This is an excellent review!
My computer ate my last comment, dagnabbit. So this is take 2.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have Barbies, or watch much tv as a kid (i grew up in the boonies). Like you, I'm appalled at what's available to kids these days. Heck, I don't even think they need cell phones.
I love the idea of this book, but I read an excerpt from it and couldn't help but feel like Peggy Orenstein sounded crazy. At one point she makes fun of the dentist's assistant for offering to put her daughter in the "princess chair", and she says the assistant looks at her like she's the wicked stepmother. Whereas in fact I suspect the dental assistant was looking at her like she was a jerk. Which she sort of was being.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this book, we have a little princess in our family and most of her clothes are pink.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Great post! I heard the author interviewed on NPR last week and it was fascinating. I have three daughters - the oldest turned 21 this week and twins are high school seniors. Lots of Disney princess stuff in the 90's (my oldest even had a Beauty and the Beast bedroom). They played with Barbies and American Girl dolls (and read all the books), but also played sports, etc. Every now and then, they'll still have a Full House marathon.
ReplyDeleteI need to read this book.
I just finished this book and loved it. I wish Orenstein had gone into more depth on some things or maybe not tried to cover so much. I have five nieces (no kids myself) and this book gave me so much to think about, especially about how I was raised (by a 70s mom who wanted everything gender neutral) and how my sisters are raising their daughters.
ReplyDeleteI've got to read this one. Even though I have a teenage son and not a daughter (thank goodness) I am fascinated to learn more about this. I have notices this with my nieces and some of my friends' daughters and this whole Cinderella thing is scary!!
ReplyDelete